6 Tips For Connecting With People and Generating Leads

That’s certainly one way to go about it. What if you took a different approach? One that took less energy and had a more lasting impact? What if you simply connected with people? What would happen?

 

Be genuinely curious about other people. Ask them questions…then ask them follow up questions. Whether it’s their business, their personal life, their hobbies or their passions, make sure to ask enough questions to understand their perspective, their thought processes, and their situation, then acknowledge your understanding. People appreciate a good listener and connect quickly to a listener with a genuine curiosity.

Put yourself in their shoes. Think about how you would feel in their situation. Then, feel that emotion. Imagine being them and share that emotional experience with them. We can connect instantly to other people through shared emotional experience and although it won’t be as powerful as you having actually been there, you have an opportunity to share this moment with them now. They will see the emotion through your non-verbal and feel your energy resonating with their experience. That’s an instant connection.

Everyone loves a good story. Not everyone knows how to tell a good story, but even those born storytellers need to hone their craft. Take some time to learn the art of storytelling and you will connect very easily with a person or audience. Why? For the same reason as above. Through story, people can empathize with you; people can relate the situations and emotions of your story to specific situations and emotions within their own lives. That’s an emotional experience from the other end and a definite connection.

It’s a psychological aspect of our subconscious ego that discriminates based on tiny judgements. Cognitive dissonance makes us accepting of opinions by people more like us and skeptical of opinions by people who are very different. Sometimes it’s to our advantage to hear someone out, but we shut them down well before they even speak simply based on their non-verbal. Be aware of your audience, who they are, the pace at which they talk, the tones they use, etc. and mirror those behaviors, so that they may be more open to your message. By doing this, you will increase the effectiveness of your communication and connect more easily to people of varying personalities.

In the same respect as above, you should be aware of your own judgements and maintain an open mind. There’s an old story about a monk who seeks enlightenment from an old zen master. The zen master invites the monk over for tea and while pouring the tea, he fills the cup to the rim until it is overflowing. It floods over the edge of the tea cup, on to the table, and now further onto the floor and the monk finally exclaims, “Stop! No more will go in!” The zen master replied,”Like this cup, your mind is full of it’s own beliefs, perceptions, and ideas. Before we can continue, you must empty your cup; empty your mind.” Don’t let your initial judgements keep you from making a real connection with someone. Empty your cup.

Remove your hypothetical hidden agenda. You’re here to connect, not make a sale; not get something from someone; not get more business. If more business comes, then great, but when you remove your expectations from the equation, you connect more readily with people, which in turn will ironically yield more business. You won’t be forcing business on people without an immediate need. Instead, you will be connecting with everyone on a deeper level, which will clearly pop out the people with an immediate need and build a strong relationship for future business with people that currently have no need.